A Screaming soul
by Sweet-little-Yugi
Summary: Things happen to Usagi and she has to do it all alone. Or is there help? I don't know for sure if the rating is corect atleast not for this chapter
1. Don't tell anyone

This is my first fic so pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeee be nice to me. To help you understand the fic, I don't have a season in mind where this all takes place. The senshi and Tuxedo Kamen know that Sailor Moon is the Moon Princess but they don't know who Tuxedo Kamen is. Tuxedo Kamen doesn't know that Usagi is Sailor moon. I know this sounds stupid but it just fits in the story.  
  
I don't own sailor moon but I wish I did, because than I could............. hahahahahahahaha won't tell you. But don't own, don't sue.  
  
"." talking *.* thought  
  
A screaming soul  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Don't tell anyone  
  
Usagi woke up screaming from pain. She knew already what happened, but she wanted to know if it got worse this night. She looked at her body and knew it got worse. Usagi glanced at her clock. "What the"..she said aloud  
  
"It's only 4 am, but I can better get dressed before mom gets up from my scream".  
  
She stood up, changed in her school uniform and headed downstairs. Usagi wasn't hungry at all. She knew that if her mother found out that she did not eat in the morning, she would be in big trouble. She didn't care.  
  
*Those stupid dreams, why do I even have them? If Luna knew about them, she would tell the others about it and that's the thing I don't want. Getting hurt in a dream is bad enough, but when you wake up and you have every wound on your body as in the dream. What would they think about me?"  
  
Usagi decided to take a walk, to think about her dream, and her life as a senshi.  
  
She walked to her favorite place in the park, the Rose Garden. The Rose Garden just appeared one day only Usagi knew why it appeared there, at that very spot was her first fight with a youma  
  
After about 30 minutes, she succeeded in forgetting her dream for just now but another problem came by.  
  
BEEB!, BEEB!, BEEB!  
  
Usagi answered picked up her communicator.  
  
"What!?" Usagi yelled.  
  
"Somebody is moody over there." Mars said sarcastically  
  
"Just SHUT UP! Why did you call?" She knew the answer on her question but she asked it anyway.  
  
"Youma attack at the shrine. SO GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE!" Mars snapped back.  
  
"Coming, coming, you don't have to YELL at me!"  
  
"Just hurry up Meatball head!"  
  
"Mars don't call me Meatball Head, I'm not that other girl you know"  
  
"I don't care you look a lot like her. And you KNOW IT so HURRY UP!"  
  
That was the last thing Mars said before she turned her communicator of.  
  
"Damn youma's! Why do they have to attack at this our? It's really annoying!"  
  
Usagi decided to wait with her transformation. She didn't want Tuxedo Kamen to ask her anything about why she was so depressed.  
  
~*~  
  
Mamoru wasn't in a good mood. For the past two weeks, and still counting, he had dreams of Usagi and Sailor moon getting hurt. He felt desperate. Everytime he and Usagi or Sailor moon met, there face would be full of fear for him, for every men. Mamoru feared those dreams, the fear it really happened.  
  
Mamoru walked to his most favorite place and self planted place: The Rose Garden. He entered the park and immediately he heard voices.  
  
"Youma attack at the shrine".  
  
*What the..did I just hear that correctly? I think I did, I'm a little bit curious about who said that, it sounded like Mars but...*  
  
"So GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE"  
  
Mamoru didn't really listen to the next words because he didn't want to. He already knew what was going on, Mars yelling at Moon or whomever Mars was talking to. He only heard the last two words or the two words of a name that is, and the reaction for it  
  
".Meatball Head"  
  
Once he heard Meatball Head he decided to listen again.  
  
"Mars don't call me Meatball Head, I'm not that other girl you know"  
  
"I don't care you look a lot like her. And you KNOW IT so HURRY UP!"  
  
He jumped from behind the bushes where he was hiding, planning to catch Sailor moon before she could run away again like she did the past two weeks. When he looked where he thought she would be he couldn't find her anywhere. He didn't know that Sailor Moon (still Usagi) knew somebody was listening to what they said so she ran off to make sure nobody knew who she was. Mamoru kicked himself mentally.  
  
*Damn it! Next time be quicker when you want to talk to one of them! You're to slow! You can save Sailor Moon but you can't catch her or a 14 year old! What kind of man ARE you?*  
  
Mamoru made up his mind. He was going to talk with Motoki. The last time the two of them talked was one week ago because of a stupid fight they had.  
  
~Flashback~  
  
"why are you so depressed Mamoru? You're not yourself." Motoki asked with concern for his best friend.  
  
I would rather not talk about that. It's nothing serious, really.  
  
"But you've been like this for almost two weeks now. Please tell me what's wrong"  
  
"I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT I KNOW. IT CAN HAPPEN OR IT ALREADY HAPPENED.  
  
"What are you talking about Mamoru? If you're this serious about that subject, than just spill it. You can't keep going on like this.  
  
"I'M NOT GOING TO SAY IT ANOTHER TIME. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. JUST LEAVE ME."  
  
ALRIGHT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT THAN LEAVE AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU ARE WILLING TO TALK ABOUT IT."  
  
"Motoki I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."  
  
"LEAVE! NOW!"  
  
~end Flashback~  
  
When Mamoru entered the arcade, he knew what was going to happen.  
  
"Mamoru what are doing here? I thought I told you I didn't want to see you until you are willing to talk?" More as a statement than a question.  
  
"That's why I'm here Motoki. I can't take it anymore, I need to talk about it. I should sit down is I where you."  
  
"Okay, Mamoru lets go to the back. I don't think you would like it if you told it here where everybody can here you." Motoki said while pulling Mamoru to the back.  
  
".Ehh. I can walk myself."  
  
"Oh. Sorry Mamoru."  
  
They sat down on the couch in the back room and Mamoru told the dream.  
  
".and that's the thing that bothered me the past three weeks"  
  
Motoki stared in horror to his best friend. Mamoru told everything in detail. He told everything he knew about Sailor Moon and Usagi that could help them to find out what was wrong.  
  
"Mamoru, why did you wait so long to tell me?"  
  
"I just wasn't ready to tell, but please don't tell this to anyone."  
  
Motoki nodded. He wanted to ask something else but Mamoru cut him off.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAH"  
  
"Everything okay Mamoru?"  
  
"I.I .d.d..don't.kn.know..wha..what..just..hap.pened."  
  
Before Motoki could ask anything else Mamoru lost consciousness.  
  
"Mamoru! Mamoru! WAKE UP!" *What's going on here? First he tells he about those strange dreams then he screams in pain and after that he faints. What happened?"*  
  
Motoki stood up to get something for Mamoru but when he walked away something strange happened, A strange golden light surrounded Mamoru and his clothes changed into a tuxedo.  
  
"What the........"  
  
This is the end of chapter 1. I'm sorry I didn't tell you anything about the dream but that's for later chapters. And If I told you It would ruin everything. 


	2. What happened to you?

Hi minna, me again. I noticed I made a mistake with the meatball head and odango atama thingy but I'll fix that. I hope you like this chapter because it took me a lot of time to write this (at school during class). Beside that, I've been really sick for the past five weeks. In this chapter, you'll get more questions but they will be answered. Just wait and read. (I can't say, see, can I?)  
  
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Sailor moon but I don't so you can't buy it from me  
  
A screaming soul  
  
Chapter 2  
  
What happened to you?  
  
Mamoru slowly opened his eyes after he felt water in his face. Motoki tried to wake him up the normal way but that didn't work so he did it with water.  
  
"Geez Motoki! I'm soaking wet! Why did you do that?" Mamoru said, clearly annoyed with his friend. "And why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
Motoki had a surprised and worried look on his face. He was shocked that Mamoru, his best friend, Tuxedo Kamen was and that he NEVER told him. When Mamoru looked at himself, he couldn't figure out how to handle this. He slowly raised his head with hoping that Motoki wasn't there. However, he was and Mamoru had to find a way out of this.  
  
*Damn, why did she transform now? Couldn't she wait 10 minutes longer? I wanted to tell him myself! Now that I mention her transforming, this feeling isn't the same like I always get. This was much worse. But what is it?* Mamoru thought.  
  
"Mam ... Mamoru you ... you're Tuxedo Kamen. Why didn't you tell me? You promised. YOU DAMN BROKE YOU'RE PROMISE TO ME!!! YOU WOULDN'T KEEP SECRETS FROM ME!!! YOU PROMISED!!!" Motoki screamed.  
  
All what Mamoru could do was whisper, whisper something to himself. He didn't know how to explain.  
  
"Why? Why now? What happened if she didn't transform? What happened to her?" Than something horrible came to his mind, his dreams. "Motoki stay here. I will be back as soon as possible, than I will explain everything" After he said this, he added in a whisper. "Well almost everything" Hoping Motoki didn't hear him. But he did.  
  
"What do you mean with almost everything? YOU'RE STAYING HERE AND YOU WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO ME!!! AND I MEAN NOW!!!" Motoki screamed  
  
"OH SHUT UP MOTOKI! I can't stay here now. Why do you think I transformed while I was unconscious? I don't have time to explain that. However it didn't feel like it normally does. So just SHUT UP and let me leave!" Tuxedo Kamen said angrily  
  
Motoki was afraid of his best friend. His character changed in his opinion. He sounded to angry.  
  
"I can feel it. I can feel it when she transforms, is in danger or hurt. Now I have a feeling I can't recognize. I have to go." Tuxedo Kamen said nicer this time  
  
Before Motoki could ask his question his friend was already gone.  
  
~*~  
  
~5 minutes after the call~  
  
Usagi ran out of the Rose Garden. She wasn't transformed yet because she didn't want a confrontation with Tuxedo Kamen about her strange behavior. Somehow she knew that he already transformed but she couldn't figure out how she knew that. There was another thing she didn't know, she didn't know she would never leave the Rose Gardens and would never be able to reach the shrine.  
  
~*~  
  
"Mars call her already!" Jupiter shouted while dodging an attack  
  
"Already did. I noticed she was in the Rose Garden so she should be here by now" Mars yelled back obviously worried.  
  
"What do you mean with she should be here by now?" asked Mercury.  
  
"Not now. I'll explain later. Let's dust that youma!"  
  
"Mars Sacred Fire" "Venus Crescent Protection" "Jupiter Thunder Rage" "Mercury Aqua Storm" (made them up myself because I don't have a season where this plays, yet) "Damn it! Still not dusted lets try that again." Mars yelled to everyone  
  
"Aright, Jupiter Thunder Rage" "Mars Sacred Fire" "Venus Crescent Protection" "Mercury Aqua Storm"  
  
"Dusted." They all shouted together. "Hey guys, I'm really worried about her. The Rose Garden is 10 minutes walk from here. She's really late I think we should go looking for her" Mercury said  
  
"I know you're worried Mercury but she has been this late before" Jupiter said "We know that. However I think Mercury's right. We should go looking for her" Venus said  
  
"We're all worried about her. Usagi is our princess and leader but this is like her. She's always late for everything"  
  
"Shut up Luna, we know that and this isn't like her anymore. The past three weeks she's always on time. You said she's our leader and Princess but you're forgetting the important part, she's our FRIEND. I'm worried Because the Rose Garden is not more that 10 minutes WALK from here. There is another reason my I'm worried. What was she doing at 4:30 am there? If my feelings are correct she didn't transform or left that place." Mars shouted to Luna  
  
"I'm sorry Mars. I shouldn't talk like that. Let's start looking for her" Luna said with a voice nothing more that a whisper.  
  
"Sailor senshi! Let me search with you. Mars I think you're feelings about this are the same as mine. She didn't leave the park or the Rose Garden"  
  
"How do you know this, Tuxedo Kamen?" Mars said with more worry in her voice than she wanted to show.  
  
"How I know this? I know this because I can feel her. I can feel her if she transformed, I can feel her pain, her fear, everything. Don't worry, I can't feel her in her normal form, normally."  
  
"What did you say? Normally?" Luna ask shocked  
  
"I was getting to that. The reason why I know she never left that place is because when I felt danger and her fear I knew where she was. I never felt her transform. I've been searching for her for the past 30 minutes. However I couldn't find her anywhere." Tuxedo Kamen said while he looked at six shocked faces. (Remember, the cats)  
  
"Okay then, Jupiter"  
  
"Yes Luna?"  
  
"You will go to the west part of the city. Mercury you'll go to the south part. Venus you'll go to the north part and mars you'll go to the east part. Tuxedo Kamen, Artemis and I will go to the park again. We should search the whole city because we don't know where she is now."  
  
"Oh and Tuxedo Kamen? I won't say I trust you but I'll give you a communicator. And in case you find her, contact us!" Luna said stern but gently.  
  
~*~the Park~*~  
  
"Usagi-chan! Where are you? Usagi-chan!" *where is she? I know she has been dreaming really bad but I never thought anything of it. I should have asked her about it. Demanding for an answer.*  
  
"Luna I know what you're thinking but it isn't your fault. If this was supposed to happen it would happen......someday"  
  
"Thank you Artemis."  
  
~*~  
  
On the other side of the park, Tuxedo Kamen looked for her everywhere but couldn't find her. He became desperate and scared.  
  
"Sailor Moon! Sailor Moon! Are you here? Answer me!" Tuxedo Kamen yelled. He thought about the dreams he had lately, it suddenly clicked. *Oh god! Not the dream! Why didn't I think of that before?*  
  
He grabbed the communicator and pushed the all call button. Before he could count to 15 everybody answered.  
  
"Did you find her?" Mars asked.  
  
Tuxedo Kamen looked in six hopeful faces. However he couldn't satisfy there hope.  
  
"No I havened but......" Mars interrupted him before he could explain why he called  
  
"Then why did you call? Mars screamed. Tuxedo Kamen had to cover his ears from the sound of her voice.  
  
"Let me finish then. I didn't find yet but I thought I should tell you this. I've been having dreams about sailor moon and a girl I know for three weeks now. In those dreams, they're getting badly hurt. Everything that happened until now is exactly the same....." Tuxedo Kamen didn't speak anymore after he said this.  
  
"Not to sound heartless or anything but who is that other girl?" Venus asked, hoping it wouldn't be who she thought it would be.  
  
"I don't think you know her but her name is Usagi."  
  
He heard six terrifying cries. *Why did the react like that? There faces are full of horror, panic and fear. I guess they do know her.* "Do you know her?" he asked  
  
"Yes we do. We know her very well." Mercury said  
  
"I had to tell you this so I'll go now. Good luck, searching." Tuxedo Kamen said  
  
After he disconnected the scouts stayed a little longer connected.  
  
"Mars? You said that Usagi was in the Rose Gardens, ne? What was she doing there?" Jupiter asked  
  
"I don't know Jupiter...... I don't know. However we still have to search in the hope to find her." Mars whispered.  
  
They all disconnected and resumed with what the where doing.  
  
~*~  
  
Tuxedo Kamen searched everywhere again but he couldn't find her anywhere. He was terrified that something happened to one of them.  
  
After 30 minutes of searching, he decided that he needed a peaceful place to think. He only knew one place where that was possible. The Rose Garden. He walked, nearly dragged himself there. He sat down on a bench and looked at a single blood red rose that seemed to be sparkling. When he looked closer, he noticed it wasn't the rose but the drops of water on it. Not water but tears. 10 meter away he found ripped parts of a school uniform and that from a senshi uniform. Definitely from sailor moon's. There where small parts covered in blood. If she had a fight with a youma or something else, she had to be really hurt. This didn't look good.  
  
*What happened here? I don't even wanna know it. It looks exactly like my dreams. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING*  
  
He couldn't take it he left a message on every communicator, left his there and ran home with tears in his eyes.  
  
~*~  
  
Luna and Artemis walked trough their part of the park when the received the message. When they finished reading that it their worst fear became reality.  
  
'Come to the Rose Garden, you'll find there something that will help you. Be careful because I couldn't take it.'  
  
'Tuxedo Kamen '  
  
"What did he mean with 'I couldn't take it'?"  
  
"I don't know Artemis but he should look there first. I hate to think that if it is really bad and the senshi are there. Let's go there and I hope they didn't read the message." Luna said  
  
"But what if they are there?"  
  
"I don't know. We'll see that when we're there"  
  
10 minutes later Luna and Artemis arrived in the rose garden. The senshi stood there in a big group hug, crying. When Luna looked around to see why they where crying, she couldn't keep her tears by herself. The only one who could keep control over all the emotions was Artemis. He smelled the scent of blood. However, when he smelled the scent from Usagi mixed with the scent of blood, he had to do everything to keep his emotions under control.  
  
"I think you girls should go home. This is enough for tonight, to see this is just ........ just horrible. Luna you should go home to, because you never know. Maybe Usagi-chan went home"  
  
All the girls and Luna just nodded and went on there way. They where tired and sore from the battle and with this it was just too much.  
  
"Artemis, you should go home too. I know Venus will need you, after all this." Luna told him  
  
"I know, I'll take her home and wait until she sleeps. I'll come to you after that, if you would like that."  
  
"I would." Luna said with a small shy voice  
  
Without thinking, she ran home in the hope that Usagi would be there, unharmed.  
  
~*~  
  
When she arrived home, there was some strange silver glow surrounding the house. Before Luna had a good look at it, it was gone. She climbed to the balcony of Usagi's room and walked inside. She was happy that Usagi didn't close her window for once. Luna heard Usagi crying, a cry that could make your hart stop. Usagi lay on her bed crying. Luna walked to her, scared to think about what happened.  
  
"Usagi-chan, what's wrong? Usagi-chan! USAGI!" Luna screamed to get her attention but it wasn't really working.  
  
"What? Just leave me alone. Go to Ami or Minako. I want to be alone right now."  
  
"No Usagi. I will NOT leave. I know something happened to you and you WILL talk to me."  
  
"Luna I don't want to talk about it! It isn't something I can tell! Please Luna just LEAVE!" Usagi screamed.  
  
"No Usagi, I won't. You don't have to tell me but I won't leave" Luna said stern but gently.  
  
"FINE! Don't ask any questions! I'm going to sleep!" Usagi yelled  
  
Usagi cried herself to sleep. Luna asked a few times if she wanted to talk about it but it was always no. Luna fell asleep with Usagi, she never noticed that Artemis came in and curled up next to her.  
  
~*~  
  
Usagi woke up rather early for a normal school day. Usagi noticed that Luna and Artemis lay on her bed, but she didn't care. She looked at her body and noticed that during the night the magic of her transformation pen had faded. She picked up her pen and did it again. She used the pen to cover her wounds from last night.  
  
She would keep everything a secret. She already had a few secrets that even the other senshi and Luna didn't know. However she had more secrets to hide after what happened. After getting dressed, she went downstairs to make breakfast. Usagi ate her breakfast cleaned up and she left food for Luna and Artemis. When she was finished, she ran out of the door. She knew that Rei, Ami, Makoto and Minako wouldn't go to school today. If they saw the rose gardens yesterday, they would be to upset to do something other that crying.  
  
Usagi had two hours left until she had to go to school, but still, she ran. She ran through the Rose gardens, past that spot. Usagi wasn't surprised that it was clean. When she thought about last night, she could feel the tears sting in her eyes. She wouldn't cry, she couldn't she wouldn't think about it anymore. However to do that was much more difficult than she thought. To escape her nightmare she went to the arcade. It was hers after all.  
  
~*~  
  
Usagi ran. She ran away from her fears. She knew she would have to face them. But for now she wouldn't think about them *Motoki, Motoki will find a way to sheer me up.*  
  
~*~  
  
On the sidewalk to the arcade, she bumped into Mamoru, again. It happened yesterday just before that.........that accident, however this time was different.  
  
"Watch it, Odango Atama!!"  
  
"Gomen. My mind was somewhere else." Usagi said not lifting her gaze from the floor.  
  
"I noticed that. Where? With your breakfast. What are you doing out of bed anyway. It isn't even noon yet" He knew this comment would make her angry. However her reaction she gave him, was not something he expected.  
  
"No! And leave me alone. I'm not up to your teasing." She looked at him just a second with her pained and tear filled eyes before running away.  
  
When Mamoru saw her face, he was shocked. He didn't know that, that little comment could make her cry. He ran after her into the arcade in the hope to apologies to her. He noticed that there where only three people inside. Motoki, Usagi and himself.  
  
Mamoru walked to the booth where Usagi was and he hoped that Motoki wouldn't see him. He didn't feel like explaining everything about him being Tuxedo Kamen. Usagi's head lay in her arms on the table. He could hear her sobs and somehow he could feel her pain, he didn't know how but he could feel it. After hearing her sob for a minute he decided to ask her why.  
  
"Usagi?"  
  
"Usagi? Usagi please answer me." Mamoru asked gently, forcing himself not to use his nickname for her.  
  
When she didn't answer, he lifted her head gently with his hand, so he could look in her eyes. Usagi's eyes where dull. Not her baby blue, but dark blue almost black. She was in some kind of trance. She whispered things he almost couldn't hear.  
  
"What are you doing here? Go away!"  
  
Mamoru thought she said it to him and stood up to leave.  
  
"Don't touch me!"  
  
"I'm not touching you!"  
  
"Let them go, just let them go!" Usagi said defeated  
  
*Let who go* Mamoru thought  
  
"It's my job to protect you!"  
  
*Protect who?*  
  
Mamoru started to understand what was going on. Usagi was reliving an incident. Mamoru sat down and wrapped his arms around her in the hope it would help. Usagi started to struggle against his strong embrace, still whispering words.  
  
"Let them go! They didn't know! Let my family go"  
  
When Mamoru heard family, he had to help her. If something happened to her parents and brother, he had to help her live with it.  
  
"Odango! Come on Odango snap out of it!"  
  
The first 20 seconds she didn't respond to his calling and continued struggling against him. Her eyes returned to their normal baby blue colour. Usagi felt a warm body against her back and arms wrapped around her waist. She turned her head and looked into Mamoru's face. That she was shocked was an understatement.  
  
"I'm sorry Mamoru, I......." Usagi started  
  
"Don't worry Odango, you don't have to apologies. But tell me what's wrong."  
  
"Nothing's wrong. I just didn't sleep enough last night." Usagi answered.  
  
"Don't lie to me!"  
  
"I'm not lying."  
  
"Yes you are."  
  
"No I'm not."  
  
"Yes you are and don't deny it!"  
  
Usagi sighed defeated.  
  
"Now tell me, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing's wrong with......." He cut her of again.  
  
"Odango, the things you said, did and your eyes showed that you where reliving something. What happened?"  
  
A look of horror crossed her face. She hoped he didn't hear anything she said.  
  
"What just happened here isn't normal. What happened to you?" 


End file.
